Recurring Infections, Antibiotics, Early Menopause and IVF: Finding Hope and Healing with Alisa Perdie | 133

In this very first Breakthrough Session, I’m inviting you into a deeply personal and transformative conversation with Alisa Purdie.

At just 31 years old, Alisa found herself in early menopause—a devastating diagnosis for someone newly married and hoping to start a family.

What makes this conversation so powerful is the journey Alisa has walked—a lifetime of chronic strep throat and countless rounds of antibiotics that left her body depleted in ways she never realized. It wasn’t until a recent conversation we had that she began to uncover the connection between these experiences, her gut health, and the hormonal imbalance that ultimately led to her early menopause.

This episode sheds light on those overlooked links and the profound impact they can have on our health. But it isn’t just about Alisa’s story - it’s about asking the questions no one else thought to ask and exploring the connections that so often go unnoticed.

Whether you’re navigating recurring infections, infertility, or IVF - or simply seeking to understand your body on a deeper level - this conversation will leave you feeling seen, encouraged, and empowered to take the next step toward healing.

Let’s dive in.

Juniper (00:00)
Welcome to the podcast, Alisa. It is such an honor to have you here. For everybody listening, I have had the honor to work with Alisa many times now. And I shared a little bit of my experience recently going to Santa Barbara and doing an intensive weekend with her. So I know you somewhat. I know a little bit about you. And when I was in Santa Barbara, We had a conversation, we went to dinner one night and we just had a very brief conversation and that conversation stuck with me and is actually what inspired me to make a massive shift in the Follow Your Gut podcast. So thank you for that because, well, why don't we just move into it? Will you please introduce yourself, share who you are and where you are with your health right now?

And then we can kind of share that conversation that we had and go from there.

Alisa Purdie (00:58)
Yeah, I'm excited. First of all, thank you for having me on. I'm truly honored as I've said in a couple of emails to you. But I'm Alisa Purdy. I am 46 years old and I have been a business coach for 14 years and I'm married to the most wonderful man on the planet. And we have a fur kid named Lucas. I'm a big fan of rescue dogs. I always have one. And I live in Santa Barbara and I've been running my own business for a long time and just really trying to prioritize the human experience over the rat race and those sorts of things. think that society tells us that we should be doing. And you and I connected years ago and your focus on gut health and solving health issues in a non-traditional way always fascinated me, always. And the more that you and I have talked about different things and gut health as it's related to different health issues, it's just sparked.

This need for me to learn more outside of what my general practitioner tells me. I don't think I've been to my primary care doctor in a couple years. Everything that I've needed support with over the last few years, my husband and I are currently doing IVF, which we can talk about, has been from naturopathic doctors. And I finally feel like I've had relief and support in what I want for myself physically, mentally, emotionally.

All of it and it's been such a game changer. So I'm thankful for you.

Juniper (02:28)
I am so thankful for you too. And I have to share that it's really, it's really special to have you on for this first breakthrough episode because when I was there in Santa Barbara, we went to dinner and you shared something with me. You share very openly on your Instagram and in your business everywhere, your experience with early menopause and

Alisa Purdie (02:53)
Mm-hmm.

Juniper (02:54)
different life events and I asked you a question when we were at dinner. Do you remember this conversation?

Alisa Purdie (03:02)
I do. I was like buzzing for days after you were here. It was so fun. It was so fun. just, there's people in your life. And I'll respond to that here in just a second, but I come from a very traditional Catholic family, European family. My mom is from Scotland. And so it's very old school way of thinking about things. So I'm the black sheep of the family who comes into all the family dinners and is like,

I found this naturopath that's gonna help me with this. And people look at me like I've lost my marbles. But then I have one conversation with you and I'm like, my people.

Juniper (03:39)
I know that so well,

Alisa Purdie (03:43)
But yeah, we did talk about early menopause and I shared my chronic experience with strep throat as a child and gut health was not a thing. I grew up in the 80s. It was not a thing. The education was not there. The conversation was not there. Health was not there. Nutrition was a mess. So I had chronic strep throat from when I was a little, little kid. And I think every family probably has their thing that...is common, like a common ailment in the family, whether that's environmental or genetic or nutritional. My family, it's always our throats, always. My sisters had her tonsils out. I had my tonsils out. waited till I was 40, which was way too late. My cousins, it's the thing in our family. And so I was medicated back to backgrounds of antibiotics since my earliest memory is probably 10.

And that continued well into adulthood. And I was too scared to get my tonsils out the older I got. And finally at 40, I think I'd had it four times that year. And as you get older, it just, it takes you down for like seriously, it can land you in the hospital as you get older. So I finally had them out.

Juniper (04:57)
Wow. Okay. So multiple rounds of antibiotics every year from at least when you were 10 to 40.

Alisa Purdie (05:04)
Yeah, yeah.

Juniper (05:06)
Wow. Okay. I remember you sharing that you had experienced strep throat frequently and you were on frequent antibiotics. I didn't know that it was that much, but you also had pretty significant health shifts during that time, like early thirties, I feel like I remember.

Alisa Purdie (05:17)
Mm-hmm. Yes, so I was married, the first time I got married at 29 and we decided to start having, trying for a family. And I started having gaps in my period, which was not normal for me. And then it finally went away and I went to my doctor who tested my hormones. I was 31 at the time and said, you're in menopause, your FSH levels, your follicle stimulating hormone indicates that you're in menopause.

I was like, I'm sorry, what? I have a newlywed. We would like to have kids. There's no indication of this. It doesn't run in my family. What the hell? What the hell? So devastating, really tough on my marriage. And we decided to part ways about a year later. And that just led to a lot of self blame. I'm a woman and I can't do the one thing that women do that men can't do. And it was just so... devastating and it led to a lot of years of depression and just, you know, great sadness and yeah, just a lot of self blame and it took me a long time to kind of make that shift and I didn't talk about it to anybody and I didn't reach out to anybody. I just sort of suffered in silence blaming myself for it and you and I had this conversation and you said, did you ever consider that there might be a connection between antibiotics and early menopause. And that never occurred to me. It never did. But absolutely 100%.

Juniper (06:59)
Yeah. Well, I remember you sharing something a couple weeks ago in your stories on Instagram about like, really just kind of starting to think about that connection since we had that conversation. And I saw that story and I was on a walk later that day and it just clicked for me. I've really been craving a shift for the podcast.

And so I'm on this walk and I was just like, my gosh, that's the direction of my podcast. Because really my podcast is an extension of how I can serve. How can I best serve? individual women, mothers, children, and my audience as a whole. And I was just like, my gosh, that conversation that Alisa and I had opened this perspective that she's never had before that comes really like my mind operates for better for worse through a microbiome lens. I see everything through the microbiome. And so when you said that, when you shared that experience with me, I was just like, well, did they ever ask, did, when you hit early menopause, was there any questions or when you kept getting strep throat and maybe getting your tonsils out, maybe that helped, but why do you keep getting strep throat? what is the deeper why? And that conversation that we had, like, I didn't know at the time that that was profound or unexplored for you.

Alisa Purdie (08:17)
Yes. Yes.

Juniper (08:29)
And I just saw this opportunity to, this is how I can really show up and serve bigger is I get asked quite frequently if I'll do one-on-one consultations and I really don't like saying no, but I have to say no somewhere in my life and.

Alisa Purdie (08:45)
Yeah, yeah.

Juniper (08:46)
I'm so deep in my motherhood right now that if I'm saying yes to consultations, I'm saying no to how I want to show up in my motherhood. And so I saw this as like this, you know, I have four hours a month set aside to record podcast episodes. Why don't I reserve those four hours to really show up and serve? And so even if nobody listens, I get to spend an hour with somebody like you and we get to just dive deep. 

so Thank you for letting me kind of go off on this for just a minute, but this is the first breakthrough episode and I just want to share the vision behind it and what it is because we get to have an experience together and I think that can be really impactful. And...

Alisa Purdie (09:25)
guests.

Juniper (09:29)
That's my mission. And so thank you for having that vulnerable conversation with me and sparking this inspiration because I think this is really, there's a hole here. There's, there's not, I don't think many of us have somebody that we can just go to and be like, gosh, can you like, let's dissect my past and connect these dots. Like how is all this connected? Because everything in our life is connected.

Alisa Purdie (09:58)
Yes, yes.

Juniper (09:59)
And there's no coincidence in you getting strep throat in the first place, even if maybe it is genetic, but what's going on deeper? Like why? What's triggering that? And then repetitive antibiotics and early menopause and...

Alisa Purdie (10:10)
Yes. Yes.

Juniper (10:16)
everything that followed from there. So your hormones are massively changing. You're constantly on antibiotics. So what's happening to your microbiome? Your microbiome is where a lot of your hormones are produced. A lot of our sex hormones are produced from our gut. And so when they're chronically destroyed and never being built back up, of course our hormones hit the fan. And there is a... massive lack of recognition in Western medicine, and it's really not okay because now you are in a really beautiful, beautiful season of your life. And I can't wait to go into more, but there there's so many times where I can see in your

Alisa Purdie (10:58)
It's cute.

Juniper (11:08)
timeline where questions should have not from you from professionals that you were seeking help from should have asked questions and explored it further with you to get to the root and so

Alisa Purdie (11:16)
Yes. Yes.

Juniper (11:22)
Thank you.

Alisa Purdie (11:24)
Yeah, no, thank you. I like to shake things up. don't follow what everybody else is doing. I think I was born that way as a child. I didn't care to do what everybody else was doing. And so I think this is sort of like another season of life where I'm doing something totally different. But the space that you provide for people is the space that people like me seek out. You know, I suffered alone in silence for years. Didn't talk about it. Didn't share anything with anyone. And it was, it can destroy you. I mean, the depression was awful. And looking back now, the depression that I was in, I thought, you know, I'm getting divorced and early menopause. All these things are horrible. Guess what else was horrible? My hormones. That's why I was depressed. Like if my hormones had been balanced or addressed in some way, you know, that sadness that I was in. maybe wouldn't have been as bad. mean, certainly divorce and early menopause is devastating, 100%. But maybe it would have been a different journey for me if physically the balance had been met, you know?

Juniper (12:35)
Yeah, if your foundation was solid, where could your mental state have been? Because not only is it our hormones, but also our neurotransmitters like serotonin. when we are prescribed antidepressants, it's synthetic serotonin is what an antidepressant is. so...

Alisa Purdie (12:38)
Yes.

Juniper (12:58)
What if we dig deeper and we say, well, gosh, how do we actually support our body in creating more optimal levels of serotonin? We go to the gut, we go and we eradicate all the built up bad bacteria and yeast and we replenish the good bacteria. And then our body has opportunity to heal from the very foundation of our bodies. And, It's really unfortunate that this isn't just common practice.

Alisa Purdie (13:30)
Yeah, agreed. And I think with social media and this community that you've created, it gives people a place to go to not feel alone because this was, when was this? Early, let's see, I got married in 07. So this was like 2011. So there wasn't the spaces that there are now, certainly. You mentioned my Instagram stories. I created a second Instagram account just for my IVF. It's called IVF over 45. And the conversations,

Juniper (13:52)
completely.

Alisa Purdie (13:59)
that are happening there. The reach, it has less than 200 followers. The reach is like 20,000 people a month because it's a new account, number one. mean, just in Instagram land, they love new accounts, but it's so targeted. And the women that are talking to me are like, this is me, this is me, this is me. And I'm like, I wish when I went through Menopause at 31 that I had someone to talk to about it, someone to listen or to relate. So these online communities, like you share so much about what you went through with your kids. And I see the numbers. I see how many people are just, finally, somebody sees me and hears me because we don't get that in Western medicine. just don't. We're doing IVF in a different country because of it. I've just never felt heard, seen, helped with primary doctors. So the service that you're giving to moms and dads and kids is just, it's invaluable. It's significant.

Juniper (15:04)
Well, I appreciate that. And it's actually such a special conversation to have because Alisa has seen like the whole backside of my business. She knows everything. I know I'm probably your eyes, you know, I have microbiome eyes, you have like hyper business systems eyes. And so there's my business that you probably know better than I do. Like you see it more than I do.

Alisa Purdie (15:12)
I do, I do, love it. You

Juniper (15:30)
And so it's really special to have this conversation with you because you see the reach that only has had and the massive growth that it's experiencing every single month and it's pretty surreal to be here and so to be able to Deepen the conversations and connect deeper like this feels so aligned and so exciting and I wish that I could have known you when you were 31 and that I could be 37.

Alisa Purdie (15:57)
Me too! Yeah, you were probably in like second grade.

Juniper (16:06)
Absolutely right. So when my son, he was born in 2014 and I mean, I wasn't on social media. I wasn't part of anything. I was absolutely alone and the only resource I had to try to find anything was Google and it was insanely isolating and I mean we internalize it because not only this once I finally learned that his gut was imbalanced I learned why and it's because I unknowingly had an imbalance that I passed on to him during birth and so not only but he was two and a half at this point so not only was I you know really fighting for my son's life and so scared and sleep deprived I also had an imbalance and so my gut, I was not functioning optimally at my foundational level. And so this is an area where there is a massive gap in support.

When you are pregnant, you really want to make sure that your microbiome is balanced because it takes you into postpartum with so much strength in the foundation of your body and your hormones and your recovery and your baby. You get to pass a balanced microbiome onto your baby. And so we are talking about maybe genetics and strep throat in your family and our throat thing, whatever it is it gives us the opportunity to change the next generation.

Alisa Purdie (17:44)
the next generation.

Juniper (17:47)
no matter what kind of birth worker you work with, whether it's a Western, you know, OB GYN, a midwife, there is no education on the significance of a woman's got health during pregnancy and the impact it has on the baby and her postpartum and there's more and more research and studies coming out that like, you know, when I first learned this, it was believed that our babies were inoculated with our microbiome when they passed through the birth canal. Now, we're finding that actually our microbiome is shaping our baby's immune system while they're in utero. It is shaping the environment, the culture of their microbiome while they're in utero. And so it is not just when they pass through the birth canal And so for you, you are doing IVF right now. You're in the early, really exciting stages.

Alisa Purdie (18:43)
Yeah, it's really fun.

Juniper (18:45)
And so in your pregnancy, this would be a really powerful thing for you to do to support yourself because not only are you, you are experiencing the extreme version of pregnancy as far as hormone fluctuation goes. Will you share?

Alisa Purdie (19:03)
Yeah. yeah.

Juniper (19:07)
I know that you talk very about this and I know that there is people listening to this who have gone through IVF and I think we can kind of dissect it a little bit.

Alisa Purdie (19:07)
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, agreed. I again, I want to shout it from the rooftops because I wish somebody had done that for me years ago. So I'm a total open book about all of it. And so I have been on hormone replacement for I think a little over a year, maybe close to a year and a half. And that was, no, yeah.

Juniper (19:37)
Sorry, I'm going to pause you. There is so this huge gap in time here from when you Okay, so your health issues were mainly centered around you are getting strep throat and you experienced early menopause. But there's this massive gap in time where you just had to deal with that, right? You got your tonsils taken out. Did that stop you getting strep throat?

Alisa Purdie (19:43)
yeah. yeah, I haven't had a cold, nothing. I've had COVID twice. I think that's outside of the normal thing, but germs don't affect me now. I feel like I am a superhero now compared to how I used to be in that realm. yeah, they had to come out. were, I mean, to your point, there's a deeper cause. There's a root cause of why it was happening, but when they took them out, it was, it's like a new life completely.

Juniper (20:17)
incredible. I am really, really happy to hear that because that is not the case for, you know, a lot of children will get their tonsils taken out that isn't the final, like we fixed it. Yeah. So I'm happy. I'm really happy for you that that was for the strep throat part, but for your early menopause, whatever happens here, like you were in this deep depression. What happened in there?

Alisa Purdie (20:45)
Solution, right. Yeah, 31 menopause, hormones jumped off a cliff. know, a lot was happening in my life personally and so I was just really depressed and all the things. But the messaging I think that I heard most often around hormone replacement, because I remember asking my doctor about this, was that there's a significant correlation between hormone replacement therapy and cancer.

I didn't want cancer. So I just decided to just struggle until I couldn't anymore. And that moment came probably 2020, 2021. COVID's happening. I stopped sleeping. And there are a lot of things that you can deal with. I think, and as women, we deal with them silently. Mood swings, depression, loss of hair, skin issues, all these things, we just sort of push them down and we just deal with it and we do life because you can. When you stop sleeping, you can no longer do life, you can't. It's a form of torture in some places. It is literal torture. And so I was new in my relationship with my husband now and I stopped sleeping. I would go to bed, we'd go to bed at like 10, 10.30. 

I would lay awake till three, four o'clock and just, would get up. I would sometimes get up and watch a movie, sometimes two movies, because I just, my body would not shut down. And it's not in a fun way like, I'm awake, I'm gonna get stuff done. No, you're a walking zombie because your body is so just desperate for rest, so desperate for rest. So I would go to, and then I'd go back to bed around 6 a.m., sleep for two hours, get up.

Juniper (22:27)
What? 

Alisa Purdie (22:52)
do a client meeting and then go back to bed. was just like, so the rest was so disjointed that it never felt like I had any. And when you can't sleep, your body is rebelling against you in every way. You know, the mood swings were bad. My husband now and I were in couples therapy because my mind was so unorganized and just all over the map. I felt like I was mentally ill in every way. And I know this is part of raising babies and everybody that I talk to about this, I'm like, you guys are gonna have babies. I know, it's not the same. It's not the same. I was awake for days, days at a time.

Juniper (23:36)
was just talking to Ty about this. When you are sleep deprived because of an external awakening, like your child waking you up, it is very, very, very different than internal inability to sleep. that exhaustion, there is different kinds of exhaustion. And when you are experiencing that internal inability to turn off, it is horrible and parenting is really really hard and sleep deprivation No matter what form it comes in is really hard, but I think it kind of ties into a feeling that you had experienced when you first hit early menopause is what's wrong with me? that, like holding onto that is really, really hard and heavy.

Alisa Purdie (24:38)
Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Yeah, so it was the not sleeping that took me to the doctor. But I suffered with that. And maybe this is just what's expected of women or how I'm wired or no, it was COVID. So I didn't want to go to the doctor because there was all this fear around leaving the house and all of that. So I suffered that way for a long time, probably close to a year at least, maybe longer. And then I went to a naturopath who did blood work and said, have zero estrogen, you have zero progesterone. Did you know progesterone helps you sleep? And I was like, no, I've never been educated on any of these things. And I'm 40, I'm 46 now, so 43, 44 years old. I didn't know any of these things at all. So I went there because of the, know, inability to sleep. But also I had gained maybe 30 pounds, maybe 40 pounds. I kind of stopped counting because everything just felt like it was just so heavy and so extreme. I remember trying to go to the gym on days when I felt like I had some rest. And I'm like, I'm gonna weigh myself because my clothes don't fit anymore. These numbers just flew past. I was like, another 10 pounds because your sleep regulates your cortisol, which is hormone related. It's all connected, it's the ecosystem of health. And I was suffering so badly. I remember going home to see my family.

Juniper (25:59)
Yeah.

Alisa Purdie (26:05)
I see them probably, I don't know, four or five, sometimes six times a year. So every couple months usually. And my mom was just like, how are you feeling? I'm like, fine. She's like, didn't you talk about anything? Like she could see the weight in my face. She could see it. And so I think I started crying. I just can't sleep. I'm trying to figure it out. But again, no one in my family had ever been through this. So just felt so alone again for the second time. 

So The naturopath did blood work and said, I'd like to put you on estrogen and progesterone. And it's not for everybody. And I know there's a lot we could do for our own health. I was desperate. I started sleeping the next day after starting to take progesterone. Yeah, I feel like you need to do what makes your body happy. There's so many variables in our body chemistry and hormone replacement is it for me right now. Right now.

Juniper (26:59)
Well, I love that. I love that we're talking about this because there is such a stigma around whether it's an antidepressant or hormone replacement therapy or whatever it is, sleeping medication, whatever it is. But we get to decide our perspective of it and how it serves us and nothing else matters. Like it doesn't have to matter. And so I love that we get to talk about that because the stigma, we can't remove it from the rest of the world, but we can remove it from inside of us. And I love that you, I hate that you hit this breaking point, but I love that you did because you were able to say, this is what works for me. And I don't give a shit what everybody else is saying. And so earlier you had said that you're, Western doctor said that hormone replacement therapy, is a correlation between that and cancer. So what have you since learned between that with, you explore that with your naturopath or?

Alisa Purdie (28:07)
I did and that's what I told her. I said, I don't want to be on hormone replacement therapy because of the correlation to cancer. And she said, well, you know, there's like one or two studies that have been out and people had just gravitated towards them and they were inaccurate. And they explained to me the difference between, and I'm not retaining all the info, but between synthetic and bioidentical hormones. So I would like to do more research on the different types of hormones because I think people don't realize like it's not just blanket hormone replacement therapy. There's different types, there's different formulas, there's compounded pharmacies that do it differently than, you know, more Western medicine pharmacies. And the cost does not have to be, you know, through the roof. It doesn't. The first place I went to was very costly. And I decided after several months that I was going to just look at other options. I found another option that is maybe 5 % of what I was paying for the same things. So there's a lot of variation in what comes along with the medication that you're receiving. Sometimes it's added services, sometimes it's a membership, sometimes it's extra doctor support that you may or may not want. But I don't want people to think that it's cost prohibitive because a lot of insurances cover hormone replacement therapy now, and that wasn't always the case. As long as your doctor holds it a certain way or I learned recently that having early ovarian failure on my medical records will get my hormone replacement therapy covered. But it wasn't on my medical records before because nobody ever documented it.

Juniper (29:50)
What? What?

Alisa Purdie (29:56)
It was sleep issues were documented. A hormone imbalance, I think, was documented, but not ovarian failure. That's a term that insurance companies need to see. Yeah. Yeah.

Juniper (30:11)
Well, and that really just touches on the point. So one of the supplements I sell silver is a very, it's, it's very much like this in regards of the controversy around it and that there have been less than a handful of studies done saying, you know, it goes in your body and it never leaves. It's so dangerous. It kills all the bacteria, good and the bad. It's as bad. It's as harsh as antibiotics and For one, they're not all silvers are the same. And two, Anytime there is a positive silver study published, it gets taken down. And there's significance in that. And the same with hormone replacement therapy is if women's hormones are stabilized, guess what? We don't get all of these other chronic health issues.

Alisa Purdie (30:55)
Mm.

Juniper (31:16)
If our guts are healthy and our hormones are healthy, you're not going to experience sleep issues. You're not going to experience weight issues and all of the other symptoms that are a byproduct of your hormones. Right? And so if Western medicine helps stabilize your hormones, guess what happens? It's a tremendous amount of loss in revenue for them.

Alisa Purdie (31:44)
Yeah, yeah.

Juniper (31:45)
I really, I feel like it's so cynical and I, I, I both appreciate this conversation, but I hate having to have it because it's ugly and that, that energy is so ugly and so negative, but that's the truth of where we are. And something like hormone, hormone replacement therapy or, you know, Totally different, but the same is my silver supplement. Silver used to be a massive staple in Western medicine until it wasn't profitable enough and they could make a lot more money with antibiotics. then antibiotics cause all these other cascade of problems that get people to come back in and it's very, very profitable. And so they have demonized silver. 

And so there's a lot of fear and misconceptions about silver, just like hormone replacement therapy. And I am not by any means sitting here saying, go buy, go get on any hormone replacement therapy or go to the store and buy some silver. No, no. Like you want to do your research and you want to get safe options that are aligned with your body because not all are created equal, but they are absolutely incredible options when you source them right and when they're aligned for your body. And it's really unfortunate that we have to suffer for so long and dig through so many weeds to find resources that actually care and serve us. But I'm really grateful and happy for you that you finally met with this naturopath

Alisa Purdie (33:33)
Thank you.

Juniper (33:34)
because your life changed.

Alisa Purdie (33:37)
Yeah, and it's, there's also, think I was afraid to be on testosterone as well. This might be a good topic for women to hear. We have testosterone in our bodies naturally, not as much as men, but we do. And you my main three hormones were pretty much at zero. And I started with progesterone and estrogen, found great health improvement with both.

And then I waited a long time to do the testosterone. And the new naturopath that I'm working with, she said, I really recommend it. Do you have brain fog? Do you have low libido? Are you tired a lot? I'm like, well, yeah, but you know, I guess that's kind of part of life. like, no, doesn't have to be part of life. And I said, so is this gonna be like a couple months? I'm gonna like feel a little different. She goes, it's probably five to seven days. I went on testosterone. my gosh.

I'm thinking so much more clearly than I was and I didn't even realize it before that I was struggling mentally just with, know, you're a business owner, I'm a business owner. We're juggling a lot of things. You I work with clients one-on-one and in group settings and different things. That's a lot of moving parts. You you talked about the technology and systems. That's a lot of moving parts. And I was having a hard time focusing for a long time, but I think I just got used to it. I just got used to...

Juniper (34:32)
No

Alisa Purdie (35:00)
low libido and, you know, I guess we're in our mid to late 40s is kind of how it is. It doesn't have to be that way. It doesn't. So I think it's just like to your point, you know, empowering people to educate themselves and do the work. It is going to be a little bit of work and you're to have to, you know, look for different things. And if you find something and it kind of works, but you know, it could be better. Keep searching, you know, keep, keep finding the thing until it lines up with.

Juniper (35:23)
Yeah.

Alisa Purdie (35:27)
what makes you happy and you're the only one who's gonna know your body, you're it.

Juniper (35:32)
Well, and that's just it. And I love that you said first that we normalize what is not normal because we get used to it, we settle. Women are so freaking resilient and we just trudge on. And I love that you met this naturopath that was like, no, it doesn't have to be that way because there's not a lot of people that will say that.

A lot of people will just say, maybe that's just what it is for you. That's what we are told and conditioned in Western medicine is you either have to settle with what you have. You have to medicate for this or just wait it out. And that is not the case. Whether your baby has eczema or you are not sleeping or you can't focus or your child is speech delayed.

Waiting, these are all symptoms. When we are told, just wait it out. in motherhood, you're told that a lot. Like, if you're seeing this problem, just wait it out. It'll pass. And through trying that with my son and seeing his symptoms stack on top one another, one another more and more and more and worse and worse.

I realized waiting it out is really like letting a wildfire fire burn and just like thinking it's going to put itself out and how different would your journey have been if somebody could have grabbed your hand at 31 and said, you know what, let's dive into this. Let's go to the foundation of your body and really learn what's happening here. And you know, we don't want that because we want the Alisa that's right here. And you had to go off this journey to be this woman that you are right here right now. And you're exactly where you're supposed to be. But for anybody who's maybe earlier on in their journey,

Alisa Purdie (37:12)
you

Juniper (37:26)
Everybody's story and experience is absolutely unique, but starting with your gut and rebalancing your gut is the most solid foundation that you can give your body for healing. And when your gut is healed, it will help your hormones. It will help your sleep. It will help your focus. And from there, it's a, it's a really beautiful place to peel back your own layers and see where else do I need support? Where else is my body lacking? And it also gives you that clarity, you know, so for me, when my son, when we found out that all his symptoms were connected to a gut imbalance, and the naturopath taught me that, you know, because I just had questions like, why we're doing everything right? we have a very chemical free home, I had a natural childbirth, I had a really beautiful pregnancy, why? what did I do wrong is is how we always feel as women. and, what he shared with me is how common it is for women to unknowingly have imbalances and pass them on to their baby during birth. And he was really the first person who shared with such kindness and care that like I didn't feel like, it was my fault. I really felt like, you know, I didn't know what should I do now because I'm pregnant with my third. And, and so I rebalanced my gut alongside my son because I was pregnant and also still breastfeeding him. And I didn't

Alisa Purdie (38:53)
Yeah, yeah.

Juniper (39:05)
know that it would change me. I wasn't doing it for me. I was doing it for my babies. And a lot of times that's what it takes. for, for women and mothers to change, it takes us having to do something for our children to do it. And once I rebalanced my gut, I was like, my gosh, like I've had ADHD since I was a teenager. And suddenly

Alisa Purdie (39:19)
Yeah. Mmm.

Juniper (39:35)
I could focus. I could be present in my life. I changed as a woman and it wasn't, but my knowledge of the gut wasn't fully developed. I mean, it never be fully developed, right? I'm always learning more, but it wasn't quite developed enough because I thought that I could rebalance make up that one time. I noticed a significant improvement in myself. My third baby was born. He is the most grounded, resilient child I have ever met. He doesn't get sick. he's just like this bright golden light and I know into

Alisa Purdie (39:51)
Mm.

Juniper (40:17)
I know that so much of this is connected to the microbiome that he received in pregnancy and birth and so But I thought that that was it. I was done. Like I birthed this healthy boy You know, I got pregnant with our fourth and I just thought well I'd done it. I was done I didn't know that our gut bacteria fluctuates and that different things impact our gut. I thought it was over and done. And so I didn't even pause to consider rebalancing my gut before I had my fourth and sure enough at like four months old all of these symptoms surfaced in him and it was at that point where I like this light bulb just went off in me and I was like my gosh it's the same exact thing as our second child let's do this all over again and so we caught it really fast but what I did differently this time was I implemented it for our whole family as a lifestyle. I rebalanced all of us and then we continued to maintain because I learned through that experience and then researching it very deeply that, gosh, actually pregnancy is really disruptive to our microbiome. And you know, there's disruptions that happen naturally that don't have to be negative if we know about them and we can support our bodies, but I passed this imbalance again onto my fourth child. Turns out, you know, I had lived most of my life with a gut imbalance without even knowing it. And so for me to think, I'll just do this one 64 day rebalance and I'll just be set forever. looking back now, I know so much better, but I guess in sharing all of this, the bigger message is we're all on our own journey and our own timeline and we all have to go through our own experiences to get to our healthiest best selves. And it's this evolution that happens over this massive expanse of time and whatever that looks like is beautiful and...

I don't know about you, but it's taken me a long time to fully embrace our experience and see it as this light of like, okay, this was our gift. This was our journey so that we can take this for the rest of our lives. We can impact those around us. can change what's happening in our lives and in so many other people's lives because of this journey that we've gone on. And I don't know if it was like that for you, but I see you here showing up with your IVF of like this is your amazing opportunity that you are fully embracing and making an impact for others.

Alisa Purdie (43:08)
Thank you, I appreciate that. I feel really lucky to be able to share this with people in that way, in a way that's accessible to people. Yeah, I think it's a game changer. And every time I get a comment or someone says, I went through menopause, I didn't think I could have babies. It's been on my heart for so long. And now because of you, I've reached out to a local doctor or a naturopath or... or a fertility center. Like I said earlier, we're going out of the country. We're going to Barbados.

Juniper (43:43)
I was just gonna say, I wonder how many women are you're gonna meet there and Barbados from your Instagram?

Alisa Purdie (43:50)
That's so funny. actually did. Because we did the fertilization of the eggs a couple weeks ago. And we have five embryos so far, which I'm very, very, very grateful for. And so there was a woman who contacted me on Instagram and she said, I went through Barbados. I have a healthy two-year-old baby girl and I'm from Miami, but I moved to Barbados because I loved it so much. So when you're here, let's meet up and get coffee.

My husband and sat with her for two hours in Starbucks. She's the loveliest human ever. She has a couple more frozen embryos that she's planning to maybe use later. And she is approaching 40 just for age demographic info. And she's single and she wanted to be a mom so she didn't wait and she decided to be a single mom for now. She's like, I might need someone to get married later. Who knows? Families are made all kinds of ways.

Her daughter's beautiful and so now she lives in Barbados. And so we've sort of become friends and there's two other families that we've met through this experience who are both there at the same time that we were. One of them we actually saw, another family we saw. And a lot of people ask me questions. Why Barbados? Who do I talk to? How did you end up choosing Barbados? I actually researched, I think, four or five other countries before choosing Barbados and Barbados just kept coming up.

They have one of the highest success rates in the world. They lean more. This was why I wanted to go there is they lean more towards Eastern medicine. So they have reflexology, massage therapy, and acupuncture as part of the IVF process there. And I was like, hallelujah. I don't want to be a number on a file folder anymore. know? yeah. For both, if there's two parents, for both parents. So when we were there,

Juniper (45:33)
What? That is it. Yes.

Alisa Purdie (45:46)
JT had massage therapy and I think he's gonna have reflexology when we come back in January. They just want to create a balanced body and it's really wonderful. And they're just, it's like going to see a house full of your aunties, like hugs and warmth and have a glass of water, sit down, get cozy. Do you need a blanket? It's just so nice.

Juniper (46:08)
Wow. And I think... the treatment and the care and the love that you are getting there is what supports your body on such a deeper level because it's not just IBF, right? Like there's so much happening inside your body. And so how can you support your body on all of those different levels through this process? so of course they have the best success rate.

Alisa Purdie (46:26)
Yes.

Juniper (46:37)
because they're seeing you as a whole being.

Alisa Purdie (46:38)
Yeah, yes, exactly. Because if we think about it, people that are going through infertility, I mean, that's why you do IVF typically is because you can't conceive naturally. There's trauma, there's depression, there's sadness, there's maybe years of struggling that have gotten you to this place. For me, it was my divorce, my early menopause, the self blame for years and depression.

And so you have these things that are stored in your body in some capacity. Maybe it's physical, maybe it's emotional. And they come back up when you are readdressing the goal that you wanted to achieve years ago. And so that's happening to me now. My husband is the best person on, even though JT, he's the best person on planet. And so there are times when, you know, choosing our egg donor was a really tough process for me because every time we would bring it up on the computer, I would start crying. I can't do this I'm panicked, I don't know why, I gotta walk away. And it's because this is my, sort of like my second time through, you know, trying to start a family. And the first time was so traumatic and I had a partner who was just like, I don't wanna do this, this is too hard. And that made me feel horrible. So we carry all of these parts of our lives. We just carry them with us, right? So then when people get to the IVF stage, it's important to find a provider who recognizes that. That even for you to walk in this door and make this appointment probably was many years in the making. So let's care for you as a human being and not just here's your tests, here's your checklist, take these pills. It's not just a systematic process, it's an emotional process and a spiritual process for a lot of people. And the physical I think is probably last on the list.

Juniper (48:29)
Well, this is so beautiful. Something that you said that hit me so deep is doesn't this happen every time we become the next version of ourselves? We are suddenly faced with all of the layers of trauma and grief and pain and sadness that we held so tightly in this old version of ourselves. And to become this new version, we have to face those and move through it, we are always re-birthing, we are always becoming a new version of ourselves. And... we can't fully become who we're supposed to be if we hold on to all of that without processing it. And so for you to become a mother,

Alisa Purdie (49:13)
Mmm.

Juniper (49:16)
you have to work through all of this and how beautiful to be in a place where this is not only recognized but fully embraced and accepted as part of the process because that's not something that many people get to experience in any form of pregnancy.

Alisa Purdie (49:19)
Yep. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Juniper (49:41)
And that you said that they include JT, that he gets to experience that completely blows my mind. Because when, when in any pregnancy, no matter what, how, form, partner cared for in any capacity, wow.

Alisa Purdie (50:08)
It's pretty magical. It's pretty magical. know, because there's different, obviously men and women have different roles in this, in IVF physically and what we go through. So they recognize that men are coming to do, you know, they've got to donate semen as part of obviously the IVF, we've to fertilize these eggs. So before that appointment, they're scheduling massage therapy and reflexology to... ensure a balanced healthy body before this is happening. You know, it's taken very seriously. And I just always respected that about the Barbados Fertility Center. And I've just, I've loved it. You know, it's all part of creating our family. You know, it's, like I said earlier, it's not just a systematic checklist that they're running through, you do this and you do this. It's like, no, let's bring everybody to a healthy, calm, as balanced as possible place before this happens. So before we do the embryo transfers at the end of January transfer, there's only one embryo that we're transfer at a time. I do three days of acupuncture beforehand. 

And then you can do massage therapy the day after if you want you can do, and I think I might have another day reflexology. I'm not certain, but we'll probably be there for at least a week. We were there, close to a week this last time. It's a beautiful place. It's like you walk outside. I got off the plane and I was instantly like,

Juniper (51:34)
Well, I was thinking there's no coincidence and where it is right like that is part of the their vision I imagine but so I just have can I ask a couple questions about this? what are you doing so that your body can accept the implantation.

Alisa Purdie (51:53)
Yeah, and this is part of IVF. I know we were talking about the stigma of antidepressants and sleep aids and things before. I have, and I think it's impaired people to hear this, I have a pretty significant aversion to medication. Addiction runs in my family, it's significantly, and so it takes a lot for me to take a pharmaceutical, a lot. Not being able to sleep was the thing that I was like, give it to me.

So as part of this IVF, I was really nervous about that. Like what is gonna be the medication protocol? Because I have a really hard time taking medication. So outside of the hormones, they are going to stop my hormone replacement therapy. I think it's two, I'm looking at my list here. I think it's two weeks before implantation. And then we start progesterone again a few days before implantation. So what they're trying to do is mimic a menstrual cycle.

So they're trying to build the uterine lining so that it is, and I have three transvaginal scans before we go back, just a few days apart to monitor the thickness of the lining of the uterus. Yeah, so there's slight variation in the hormones, build up the uterine lining so that when we get there, it's nice and comfy and cozy for the embryo transfer.

Juniper (53:07)
Okay. So does Barbados have partnerships where you are, who are you going to for those uterine exams?

Alisa Purdie (53:25)
It's all, so if you're doing IVF abroad, you would do these scans or any testing ahead of time with your local doctor. So there's a fertility clinic here in Santa Barbara who is, they call it, you're classified as a monitoring patient if you're doing tests with a primary doctor, but actually doing the IVF with someone else. So that's the term is a monitoring patient. So the scans will be done here.

Juniper (53:47)
Okay.

Alisa Purdie (53:54)
We did blood work and all that ahead of time here in Santa Barbara and they're sent, they just email them to Barbados. So in addition to the hormone variation, there's a couple of medications that I'm not thrilled about. Prednisone is one of them. They wanna basically take down any possible inflammation in the body. But it's only, I think, for eight days or something like that. So I'm just...

Juniper (54:01)
Okay.

Alisa Purdie (54:22)
sort of going with it. Outside of that, my vitamin D was low, so I'm taking vitamin D, I'm taking a prenatal, which is DHEA, and my hormone therapy, and a thyroid medication. My naturopath actually suggested that because my thyroid was very low and nobody has suggested thyroid medication before, and then the IVF clinic said, that was our thought too, we were gonna prescribe the same thing.

So that lines up pretty well. So that's sort of all. I'm a little nervous about the hormone fluctuation just because of the sleep correlation that I have with it. So I'm gonna do my best to advocate for myself and speak up about it.

Juniper (55:10)
and then once. The embryos implanted, what happens then? Continue to mimic what your hormones would be doing at different stages of your pregnancy? Okay.

Alisa Purdie (55:17)
Well, yeah. Yes, so I have an injectable that is estrogen and progesterone that I'm going to be taking for the first three months of pregnancy.

Juniper (55:39)
Okay, and you have to like inject that into your stomach every day.

Alisa Purdie (55:42)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, one's in my stomach and one's in my booty and my husband is definitely afraid of needles. my best friend is coming over probably every day to give me a shot in my butt. It's gonna be great. We're just gonna be like a you know, throuple here raising a baby together. I don't know. It's pretty yeah, he's a little nervous about that part.

I'm excited. I've known forever that I was gonna have to take a different path to be a mom. And then when JT and I, I don't know if I said this, but we were friends for 12 years. I knew JT when I was married to my first husband. And we were friends for 12 years and then started dating in 2019. And it was like, were friends for so long.

And so I always knew that he wanted to be a dad because he was a really good friend of mine and we would talk about this and, you we would both be kind of like in other relationships and we would always come together and catch up over coffee or drink or whatever and kind of give each other our life updates. And so I always knew he wanted to be a dad. And then we started dating and, you know, it kind of compounded in my feeling like I had failed to, well, I know he wants kids and I can't, I can't get pregnant naturally. So he's probably not going to stay around.

And so just as women, just feel like this huge responsibility to do everything for everyone. And if we can't, we just feel like a failure. So my plan when we started dating November 2019, I had already been in talks with Barbados about adopting an embryo on my own and having a pregnancy and becoming a single mom. That was where I had landed after all those years of just sadness. I was like, you know what? I'm going to do this myself. I can support myself. I've got a great business. I love my life. I love living in Santa Barbara. It's time. I'm not getting any younger. What am I waiting for? Let's do it." And so he and I started dating. And so said, there's something I should tell you. This month, I have an embryo transfer scheduled in Barbados. Or I think he saw me talking about it on my Instagram and he came over he's like, so we should probably talk about this.

But in my mind, I thought, it's probably just gonna be like a really fun little fling because this is a lot. I don't know what I was thinking. I just felt like it wasn't gonna last anyway and I was still gonna continue down this path on my own. I think at that point, I dated a bunch and had these small relationships, nothing. I did not intend on getting married again. That was not for me. I had decided that was not for me. And so I said, if you're on board with this, I need to know now and if you're not, also need to know now. So he was like, we've known each other for 12 years. Of course I'm on board. And I was like, okay, well then we need to switch the plans up here a little bit. yeah.

Juniper (58:45)
Wow. Okay, so that gives me a whole different perspective. You have had burbles on your mind for a very long time. This isn't like a new, you didn't just discover them. Okay.

Alisa Purdie (58:54)
No, no, no, no, no, It's probably, well, we've been together five years. It was probably seven years ago that I started researching. And it started with my girlfriend, Andrea. She said her grandparents are Greek. And so she said, I went to Greece to freeze my eggs. And I was like, what, why? And she was like, well, it's less than half the cost when it is in the States and it's still excellent healthcare. People travel for healthcare all the time. And I'm like, you know what, you're right. And my mom's from Scotland. So let me start exploring in Scotland. We a lot of family there. And then my friend said, what about Turkey? My friend lives in Turkey. So it was Greece, Scotland, Turkey. I called a place in London. And then my girlfriend called me and said, I have two girlfriends who had their twin girls in Barbados. And then people just kept saying Barbados. And I kept seeing it in blogs and it just over and over. And I was like, tropical island acupuncture massage therapy, high success rate, done. That was it. Yeah. It was pretty funny.

Juniper (59:54)
Yes. Wow. Okay. So when you are pregnant and you are doing all the things, you're taking your prenatal vitamin, all your things are in line.

Alisa Purdie (1:00:07)
Hmm.

Juniper (1:00:20)
This is what I wish that my midwife had said to me. I wish that she had said, those really great high quality multivitamins are really great, but you also need to focus on your gut because if you're not focusing on your gut, your body's actually not absorbing the nutrients in those vitamins optimally. 

And so, What I want to extend to you is to not forget about your gut through your journey and remember the experience that your gut has had throughout your life and this beautiful opportunity to rebuild yourself while you build a baby and while you birth a baby because you're gonna rebirth a whole new version of yourself again. And you can birth the strongest version of you that has ever been alive. And I cannot wait for you.

Alisa Purdie (1:01:25)
Yeah, I'm very excited. It's been magic. It's been magic. You know me, I'm numbers person. I like to sort of like measure things. That's how my brain like understands things the best, I think. And just the outcomes that we've had at Barbados have been lovely. We had eight eggs from our egg donor. Seven of them fertilized, which is really high success rate we were able to get five of those seven to the mature stage for transfer, which is unreal.

Juniper (1:02:04)
unreal. So will you freeze the rest?

Alisa Purdie (1:02:06)
Yeah, pretty fun. They will live in Barbados. I know it's pretty amazing. And also the egg donor, just a little tidbit of info that I didn't know before. There's different types of egg donation. And our egg donor chose semi-known donation, which means we had a Zoom call with her, which I never thought would ever be an option. And she has,

Juniper (1:02:17)
I'm

Alisa Purdie (1:02:39)
given us permission to contact her later. If we have any questions about health stuff, if the child has an interest in meeting her or talking to her or learning more about her, she's open to it. And I just think it's like the most wonderful gift because, I mean, let's be honest with 23andMe or all these websites, like your child is going to know if you used an egg donor, sperm donor, IVF, they are going to find out.

So I want to keep all the communication open about how our babies come to be. I want to normalize all of it. I don't want kids who are adopted or conceived with donor egg or donor sperm to feel less than ever. And there's a big part of me that wants to write a children's book based on babies who are born through various forms of IVF because I just think it's so magical. And my best friend's daughter was adopted. She was adopted at birth.

And she has a whole, she has all these books about adoption and it's never been a taboo subject in her house. And I love it. She knows who her birth parents are. She's six. She's got a family book with the birth parents and she knows all about it. I love it.

Juniper (1:03:50)
I love that. I have a parent of Gary. Everything is open. Ty has a recovery habit and we fully embrace his life experience and our kids know everything. Because if we, why? We are the beginners or the enders of stigma, right? And these negative experiences, we get to...

Alisa Purdie (1:03:57)
Mm-hmm. you. Yes. Yes.

Juniper (1:04:19)
begin it for our child or we get to end generational shit and cultural shit for our children. And so I love that. And you should write that book.

Alisa Purdie (1:04:25)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, I think it'll be really fun and know, cathartic and just interesting and I hope it supports people because I, it all comes down to shame for me. There shouldn't be any shame in infertility and there is and there has been for a long time and I think as the generations, you know, come, there'll be more people who normalize talking about it.

So I've actually seen this really beautiful change in my mom. Like I said, Catholic family, old school Scottish women in the family. And at first my mom was really resistant to us doing IVF. And now she calls and says, what are the updates? Have they called you today? How many embryos? Okay, what is it? And she keeps saying, okay, I have a stupid question. There's so many questions because we're not educated on any of this stuff unless you go through it.

It's just all these great, great questions. And I just, I love all of it because it means you're open to learning about it and you're not judging the process. And I just want people to feel supported in IVF or whatever the journey is in how families are created. I just want them to feel supported.

Juniper (1:05:41)
I appreciate you and I will put all of your information in the show notes for if anybody wants to follow along with your IVF journey or they are looking for a really great, you are a different kind of business coach than I've ever worked with.

Alisa Purdie (1:05:59)
Really?

Juniper (1:06:00)
yes, like I would define you as very, because most of the coaches that I see and that I've worked with, it is very mindset. A lot of minds which is lovely and beautiful and has its place. But you are like a practical coach. Like you were like, let's, let's get this course dialed in. Let's get these systems, all these emails. Let's like, you taught me how to use like the systems and build the system side of my business. And I haven't seen that anywhere else. And maybe I'm, maybe I just haven't looked because when I saw you, I was just like, she's, I need her. I need her in my life.

Alisa Purdie (1:06:39)
I need her in my life.

Juniper (1:06:41)
And you're really good and you're really fluent in the systems. so if anybody is building a business, you to have a sustainable business that can grow and, you know, just, I just want to take just a moment here because the significance of my business is that I'm able to run my business with very little time because I have systems in place because

Alisa Purdie (1:06:45)
Thank you. Yes. Yes.

Juniper (1:07:07)
I went into my business knowing this is my life calling in addition to motherhood. I'm to be really protective of my time in motherhood. This is the amount of time that I'm willing to share with my business and I have to build it in a way that both can coexist. And, and you helped me do that. And so I will them in the show notes and I appreciate you being here.

Alisa Purdie (1:07:35)
Thank you, I appreciate you.